


Sonata

by orphan_account



Series: Sonata [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Finishing Moves, Gen, Giant Robots, M/M, Pesterlog, Shounen, Shounen Fights, Yelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7032403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first year of middle school was full of harrowing experiences. Finally being in the same school as his three best internet friends was great (as the district had many more elementary schools than middle schools), but it also meant about three or four times as many bullies, breaking John's glasses, stealing his lunch, mocking his constant optimism. It wasn't John's fault that the world was so great! He was just a representative. But middle school was good, too! His teachers were always nice to him, and he got to hang around Dave, Jade, and Rose a lot more often.</p><p>If he thought that schoolyard bullies were a difficulty, then what was coming next was going to hit him like a nuclear bag of bricks. </p><p> </p><p>Homestuck mixed in a blender with equal parts Bokurano and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.</p><p>AKA: Homestuck, <em>with giant robots!</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Sonata

John Egbert was so glad he was finally done with seventh grade!

The first year of middle school was full of harrowing experiences. Finally being in the same school as his three best internet friends was great (as the district had many more elementary schools than middle schools), but it also meant about three or four times as many bullies, breaking John's glasses, stealing his lunch, mocking his constant optimism. It wasn't John's fault that the world was so great! He was just a representative. But middle school was good, too! His teachers were always nice to him, and he got to hang around Dave, Jade, and Rose a lot more often.

If he thought that schoolyard bullies were a difficulty, then what was coming next was going to hit him like a nuclear bag of bricks.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  
TG: john  
TG: get home already  
TG: i need to stomp your ass in cod again to feel better about my finals  
TG: john  
TG: john  
TG: john elizabeth egbert did you spaz out and stare at the sky again  
GT: oh, sorry dave! i spazzed out and started staring at the sky again.  
TG: okay cool now get your chubby white ass home i need to pwn you  
TG: to feed my unfathomable bratwurst  
GT: bloodthirst?  
TG: bratwurst  
TG: a great big unfathomable bratwurst  
TG: rising out of the ocean like cthulhu 2: electric boogaloo  
TG: red-skinned in sheep intestine, roman condom style  
GT: dude, gross! don't tell me about sheep intestine condoms please  
TG: chill your titties egbert  
TG: it's a metaphor slash simile  
TG: just stop talking to me and take that sidewalk roadtrip already  
GT: fiiiiiiiine!  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  


John stared upward at the blue sky, shafts of rainbow sunlight cast down on his face like Gay Zeus's spears from heaven, the bright yellow sun burning holes in the sclera of blue sky above, happiness removing a pupil of sunspots. Grass shook in pulsing waves like an ocean of green with every gust of 5/4 time wind at 10 beats per minute. The trees gently swayed from side to side, one in between every perfect white identical production-plant house in the manufactured American Suburbia. They bobbed and weaved to the sound of nothing like a gentle flutist playing pied piper with silence, bending to an invisible conductor's orchestra baton. A single solitary cherry blossom tree spiraled its pinkish whitish bounty like a storm of perfume throughout the neighborhood's swishing zephyrs, occasionally blocking the view of the bright greens grown back from a harrowing winter.

John Egbert was thirteen years old and a month or two. He liked to do magic tricks, pull pranks, play piano, and attempt to program, none of which he was particularly great at. He enjoyed staring upwards at the weather, whether it was the bright ocean blue of a nice afternoon or a dull unhappy grey of a sad morning or the gleaming stars in an obsidian night sky, but he had an immaculate knack for detail. It was this knack for detail that rendered him only the slightest bit spacey and flighty, because so enamored was he in how great the world was, he barely noticed the fact that it had started to sunshower. At least now he had a reason to hurry home past the identical factory-built houses, big and spacey for a cheap, low price. Or so his Dad had told him. The school bus had left about 10 minutes ago, and the scent of exhaust had just begun to fade from his nose's receptors.

He had reached the front door in time for the sky to turn from a bright rainy blue to a depressed, overcast grey, and it really started to pour as soon as he opened the door. His Dad was still usually out at work, doing Dadly things like wrestling alligators or fighting crime, probably, so he took a step inside and proceeded to white out.

 

When John awoke, he felt wet... and sticky. He felt his ears, which were burning hot, and pulled his hand away to discover a bright red smear of blood coating them. His heart was pounding, and lightning poured from the outside as a full-on storm raged like an angry mother, wind whistling at his feet and hair. His phone lay inches from his hand, buzzing rapidly to indicate a smear of messages across it.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  
TG: john  
TG: are you home yet?  
TG: you're not logged on it says  
TG: john  
TG: john  
TG: oh my god john i'm going to hang myself if you take any longer  
TG: joking  
TG: i know how sensitive you are about that stuff  
TG: did i do something wrong?  
TG: JOHN CHECK THE NEWS  
TG: IF YOU CAN READ THIS RUN RUN RUN RUN  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  


gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  
GG: john, are you mad at dave?  
GG: he says you're not answering him, is something wrong?  
GG: john, don't tell me you're mad at me too! what did i do to you? :(  
GG: JOHN DAVE JUST TOLD ME TO CHECK THE NEWS AND I DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THERE NOW!  
GG: JOHN! JOHN ARE YOU OKAY?  
GG: HOLD ON, I'M COMING TO GET YOU!  
gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  


tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  
TT: If you don't mind my particular intrusion, Mister Egbert the Younger, both Missus Harley and Mister Strider have expressed their disappointments that you appear to be upset at them, and thus, neglecting them in some way. You're normally rather personable, and I don't suppose this would be an issue with, quote unquote, "spazzing out and staring at the sky", as Dave had put it, otherwise they wouldn't be asking me to participate as an intervening third party.  
TT: ...I have just been informed by both Dave and Jade that now would be a good time to check the news.  
TT: There appear to be two giant monsters, or robots, it's hard to tell, fighting, literally on top of your neighborhood, John. I strongly suggest you attempt to flee at the earliest given opportunity.  
TT: Please, send me a response when you awaken.  
TT: It would be a tragedy of tragedies if the light of our friend circle died with so much in the air.  
TT: Please.  
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT]  


John didn't have the energy to respond to any of them. His entire body was on fire, except not literally, and he was covered in scrapes and burns, like an explosion of some kind had kicked him into the house. Shakily, he got to his feet just in time to see something big and green crash down outside of his front door, breaking a hole in the lawn. He took a couple of shaky steps outside, and stared upward at the goliath standing in front of his house.

John was really bad at guessing heights, but he wasn't even tall enough to clear the giant thing's boot. It was tall and slender, like a human, stretched out somewhat, in contrast to John's squatter, "weightlifter body", as his dad had told him one day when he was looking very sad in the mirror. The thing looked more like a gymnast or a swimmer or fencer, a white, elongated semi-human like an action figure's underneath with all the paint and detailing removed. Every joint, from the knuckles to the hips, every vertebrae of the thing's neck, glowed bright blue like John's eyes, casting a dim glow in the darkness of the swirling thunderstorm. From head to toe, it was covered in plates of green armoring like a medieval knight of the year 2101, the seams of the green plate glowing blue, glimmering like not any metal John had ever seen. It looked like some sort of plastic or silicon, but didn't wobble in the wind like big, flat pieces of metal should. Its head had two big blue eyes in perfect circles, with a green, angular helmet covering them up, turning them into somewhat angry, or determined, slanted quasi-circles. 

John only had a couple of seconds to take in the thing's sight before something cut through the air behind him with an explosion, and he saw a bright orange blur strike the green giant in the chest, sending it reeling backwards. John turned around, and the opponent was big enough that even with most of his view obstructed by his house, he could still gaze them easily.

They looked like a cross between a ram, an ant, a fish, and a person. It wasn't at all in equal parts, but John wasn't sure what the proportions were. The head was distinctly person-shaped, feminine, with high, almost ghostly cheekbones, and a tangle of hair - upon closer inspection, strings of thick, glowing batteries gently arcing with orange electricity, mopped around the thing's head. Two massive ram's horns curled outward from the face's scalp, with a bright white orb of some kind embedded in the forehead. The neck was long, thick, with visible gill-slits on the side constantly opening and shutting to vent bright white steam, revealing their orange insides. The shoulders were broad and tall, giving the creature/robot a sloping appearance, powerful yet slender arms like a mantis's legs ended with some sort of combination of a gorilla hand and a deer's hooves, sharp orange nails shimmering with heat as they dug into the ground. The body continued downward until it reached the rear legs, similar in construction, with flared outward hips - some sort of strange quadruped. Its stance wasn't too dissimilar from a gorilla with an arched back, or a big cat ready to pounce. The tail was the most interesting feature - it looked almost like a bullwhip, except it was clearly segmented, with the edges glowing and spinning bright orange like some sort of stretchy chainsaw whip made up of many super powerful chainsaws. It swished around in the air like a snake preparing to bite again. The entire thing was constructed out of some sort of grey metal, with the beastly quadruped looking like some sort of quasi-robotic living beast, or perhaps a semi-living robot, clearly breathing.

John simply watched as the Manticore (that's what he was calling it since it looked kind of like one anyway) remained still aside from its breathing. It took one step forward with its front paws and its tail lashed out in an instant, faster than John's eyes could track, slamming into the chest of the green giant and sending it stumbling backwards. And again, and again, and again - it was clear who was winning. One horizontal blow to the head with the tail, and the green giant began to fall right towards John.

Whoops. There goes the rest of the yard.

John stood eye to eye with the green giant, his body shaking with heat and pain. He felt sticky and gross all over, and lightning was getting dangerously close to hitting him, having struck both the Manticore and the Green Giant over the course of the past couple of minutes several times. John reached up to touch his ear, and pulled away instead of red, a bright blue, casting light on his face.

What?

 

John wasn't sure what happened the next minute. Everything was sort of a blur, but now he was rather comfortable, inside a great big pool of blue that stretched as far as his eyes could see. It felt like he was moving in jello, yet, he was capable of moving easily, and he was standing on solid ground that he couldn't see. He was warm, and he didn't hurt as much, and he could see both this endless, liquid blue expanse, like a bath of ectoplasm, and outside the eyes of the Green Giant staring at his house. John then realized that he, too, was lying down, in the same knocked-over position that the Giant was in earlier, and slowly began to rise to his feet.

The Giant met his motions inch for inch. He felt himself moving vertically, gravity working to pull him down. 

"whooooooooa! what's going on? where am i?" John asked, to nobody in particular, blue flooding his mouth. He could breathe it as easily as air. A voice, booming and loud, responded literally _inside his brain_. It was so cool!

"My name is TYPHEUS, and you are currently inside my skull. That thing in front of us is the Enemy. A Monster. I cannot fight it on my own - you must help me destroy it." The voice said.

"and what if i don't know how to fight? what do i do then?" John asked, feeling rather foolish, as he watched the Manticore rev its tail up again and prepare to strike. He felt something tingle up his spine, and his hand instinctively shot out to catch a long green and white mechanical pole that shot from his back like a cue stick or a bo staff.

"You'll learn fast."

John didn't have the time to react before the tail shot outward at him, and he brought the staff to bear, deflecting the tip of the bright orange tail to slice across the Gian-... Typheus's cheek. John felt a red heat in his face and brought his hand up to feel the mark, that there was now an open cut on his actual skin cheek.

John supposed he didn't really have a choice anymore.

"Be creative."

John wasn't really sure what that meant, but he tried anyway. He swung the staff in a great arc, and, to his surprise, the world responded. Trees shook and uprooted themselves as if torn by a mighty gust of wind in a hurricane, slamming into the Manticore. The staff was slender and thin, so it couldn't have been acting as some sort of giant paper fan, which meant that this must be some sort of weird magic. Wouldn't have been the strangest thing that day. John's eyes glanced up and he noticed the clouds moving too in accordance to the staff's whims, lightning dragging along the sky like a great jellyfish's tendrils. He grinned, and swung again, the Manticore dodging his swipe but not the resulting wind pinning it down, throwing trees and a couple of houses into it, which it tried to cut down with its lightning fast tail, but missed on occasion. John could see maroon liquid seeping out of the Manticore, and the normally sullen face bore a sunken expression in its white eyes, mouth contorting in anger. The tail buzzed angrily, and flickered towards John, but his newfound control over the wind combined with reflexes seemingly out of nowhere (he was never this good at reacting in Call of Duty, at least) allowed him to easily deflect it and shove the Manticore onto its side.

"Crush the Gem. Destroy the Beast." Typheus's voice echoed, repeating in John's head. The Manticore looked up at him pitifully, and in that moment of small distractions, its tail lashed forward and knocked him right in the chest, sending him reeling backwards and falling into the local neighborhood lake. John could feel the water on his skin even though he was currently inside an infinite pool of water, he felt the soft earth that his hands gripped in order to push himself up, he saw the van resting in the Manticore's mouth... Wait, the van? What was so familiar... _Jade!_

John got to his feet, digging them into the slippery earth, fish falling off of Typheus's green armor and white skin. Damnit, Jade, everyone else had evacuated, why'd you have to come play the hero? The Manticore's expression remained stoic, but John had no doubt that it would be grinning in triumph if its fanged mouth wasn't full of car. And... Jade was in the driver's seat? God dammit, you stupid cute helpful friend! John stood there, just still as a statue, as the Manticore sauntered up to him and slipped its tail underneath his chest plate.

John felt like his skin was being peeled off. It hurt, and he could feel cuts and scrapes forming on his chest, but he didn't dare look, as the Manticore pried off enough plates to make a big, wide hole, and then spat out the van by John's feet.

Then, it rammed its tail through Typheus and out the other side. John screamed and screamed.

Quickly, those screams of pain turned into screams of rage.

John brought the staff down upon the Manticore's neck, pinning it to the ground. He did it again, and again, and again. The gills were starting to become misshapen, maroon fluid leaking out into the dirtied lake, as John attempted to sever its head one blow at a time. The Manticore started to drive its tail upwards in desperation, but it was catching on Typheus's armor, very slowly prying each plate off before it had room to continue up and deepen the wound. John's slamming got harder and harder, and with every downward thrust, he saw the world bend downward with the wind, the lake pushed down into the dirt, the dirt shifting under the weight of his might.

The clouds were close enough that John could grab them. He shoved his pole into the overcast sky and brought it downwards, trailing the storm cloud with it, condensing into a darker and darker and darker sphere of swirling wind around the head of the pole like a hammer. The Manticore ripped its tail out of John and attempted to back away.

John grabbed the tail and flung it into the sky.

He couldn't think of anything cool to say, so he just screamed as he swung his hammer into the Manticore's face.

The world went white once again.

 

 

John woke up staring at a white ceiling, thankful that there was no school he'd have to miss, because he felt like someone had ripped a hole open in him. In a couple of seconds, it dawned on him that he was in a hospital bed, and that, from what he could see, there was a vertical scar running up the side of his stomach, as well as a small slice on his cheek that hadn't finished healing yet. A curtain was drawn, and his Dad was sitting there asleep. The lights were off, and several monitors were beeping and blooping.

John looked at the ceiling and passed back out.


End file.
